I think that everyone, at one time or another, has known someone dear to them who happened to be unaware of the Good News of Christ. Attempts to evangelize these precious wayward souls are most often met with frustration as one presentation of the Gospel after another is scorned and rejected. How does one win another person to Christ effectively today? How can we make someone close to us see the Truth and willingly allow Jesus to become Lord of their life?

First of all, please allow me to define the term, "evangelism." Biblically, true evangelism is not street corner preaching, nor is it getting someone to respond to an emotional invitation to be saved. True evangelism is when someone hears, responds, and is effectively discipled into the faith. It has the lasting effect of an eternal, viable relationship between the individual and God.

Secondly, please allow me to tell you how evangelism is NOT done. Contrary to popular Christian tradition, true evangelism is not accomplished best through cold-calling, Christian television or radio, street witnessing, or even mass "crusades." In fact, survey data shows that only 4% of everyone attending a mass evangelistic event is ever assimilated into a local church.

Winning people to Christ today is actually done through building relational bridges with people -- which takes time. For someone to embrace your God, they must first embrace you. Intelligent people watch what you do before they listen to what you say, and make quick evaluations depending upon where you register on their "flake" meter. For the human heart to be exposed to anything good, the mind must be disarmed by the demonstrated care, concern, normalcy, and credibility of the evangelist (i.e. you.).

The focus,then, should be initially on making friends. Don't ask all of those uncomfortable, confrontative "tomahawk" evangelism questions like, "if you died today, do you know for sure you'd go to heaven?", or "If you were standing at the gates of heaven and God asked why He should let you in, what would you say?" To most Americans whose minds have been media-inundated by the more bizarre expressions of religious freedom, people who ask questions like these either don't have a life or want to slurp pudding and chase comets across the universe.

Ask them questions about themselves, listen closely and be interested in them as people. No agenda here, just be friendly and treat them like you like to be treated. Don't invite them to church either, but rather invite them to lunch or to go somewhere fun. (Church will follow later, and they will go with you because you talked them into it). Always remember that you must meet people where they are. Right now, most people want real friends more than they want to be saved. Give them what they want. The relationship you build will lead to confidence -- confidence will lead to courage -- and courage will free them to follow you where they have never gone before.

Evangelism therefore is not an event, but a process - a process of building bridges to people and leading them to God because of what they learn to see and trust in you. St. Francis of Assisi once said, "Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words," This is the challenge for those who want to win the hearts of men and women into the next century.

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